September Reflection

Last night several of us assembled at Ruth S.'s for a Reflection on "Forgiveness," led by Remi. We read quotes on the topic from several major religious traditions and also an analysis of forgiveness.

The discussion was quite interesting. Some of us have encountered situations where it is hard to forgive. There's clearly a distinction between "forgiving" and "forgetting," and even if we do forgive we agreed that we have a right to protect ourselves by leaving a hurtful relationship.

Some of us have also been on the other side of the forgiveness issue, having done something another person finds it hard to forgive us for. That's also an uncomfortable spot to be in.

This was a thoughtful and insightful evening, and many thanks to Remi for leading the discussion. Thanks also to Ruth S. for hosting!

"Odd Man Out"

On Friday evening, September 11th, several BHC members met at the Film Forum in Greenwich Village for a screening of the 1947 film, "Odd Man Out." This was a recently restored version of Carol Reed's film, starring James Mason, Robert Newton and Kathleen Ryan. It was stunning on a big screen, stark black and white, with a beautiful soundtrack.

Afterwards, we stopped at a small eatery that featured paninis, espresso, and Italian desserts. Our discussion of the film centered around the way various people reacted to Mason's character, Johnny McQueen. Johnny was the chief of the local branch of the IRA (though it was never stated in the movie, it was obvious that this was the "organization" everyone spoke of). When he was wounded and left behind by his mates in a robbery intended to raise funds for the cause, he encountered many people who recognized him and reacted to him in a variety of ways. Most, sadly, were out for what they could get from him rather than willing to help him as a fellow human being.

The fact that he had killed a man during the robbery put him over a line, as the priest says. But the killing was accidental, and in fact Johnny is troubled and afraid that he has killed. No one takes this into account. Instead, some try to turn him in, others want to use him for the reward, for heavenly brownie points, or for "art."

The discussion was fascinating and the company was excellent. This was our second "BHC Movie Night" and we're hoping for many more.

2nd Anniversary Celebration

On August 23rd we held our second anniversary celebration at Taze, a Turkish restaurant in Brooklyn Heights. The food was delicious and we had an excellent turnout, 23 of us!

Our President, Tony, said a few words to honor Dr. Kurt Johnson, who has gifted us with his thought-provoking Reflections on a monthly basis.

We're heading into a third year that should see us become a full fledged 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we are attracting guest speakers of stature. We're also beginning to reach out to other organizations and partner with them to produce joint programs.

Onward!

Book Club, "Born on a Blue Day"

Last Sunday the BHC Book Club met to discuss Daniel Tammett's Born on a Blue Day. It was an interesting tale of a young man with Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism, and his journey. He was fascinating in that he is also a savant who can do incredibly complex math problems in his head, and he also has synethesia, an overlapping of the senses. He sees numbers in colors and shapes, and Wednesdays, the day he was born, are "blue" in his mind.

It was a triumph for him that he was able to travel to other countries all by himself (his amazing facility with language contributed to that) and also that he was able to find himself a lifelong partner.

We discussed autism and the forms it takes. Sheila used her nephew as an example but others among us have known autistic children and young adults so we were able to contribute to the discussion as well. We also talked about the stigma against autism, mental illness, etc. and whether we would be willing to hire a young man like Daniel. I said, because he does not understand human emotions all that well, I would not assign him to deal with people but I would be happy to hire him to a position where his facility with numbers would be valuable.

As always it was an excellent discussion. Kudos to Sheila!

Digital Reflection with Lois Kellerman

Last Saturday night ten of us gathered at Michael and Antoinette's for a potluck dinner and a Reflection by Skype, with Ethical Culture Leader Lois Kellerman. Lois was Leader of the Queens Society for Ethical Culture and then the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture, departing from that position in 1998 to move to California with her husband.

We had some technical glitches as this was our first time using Skype, but while we were able to see Lois "live" for a few minutes, she was able to see us throughout the Reflection. Our topic was "Preserving Relationships in Difficult Times."

Lois had an excellent, illustrated brochure with many suggestions for doing this, but what touched me the most was her description of some of the hardships she has faced and managed to come through, as well as other people's stories. One person described the death of a difficult and demanding relative who became a courageous and graceful voyager into the unknown territory at the end of life.

Others described different situations that caused great stress in their families and relationships, but we were able to hold them together. While Lois's suggestions were not necessarily news to us, it is valuable to re-emphasize them when faced with problems that seem insurmountable. These are the times we need our loved ones and support systems the most, and it's vitally important to hold onto them rather than isolate ourselves and push others away.

Many thanks to Lois for speaking to us, to Michael for handling the technical side on our end, and to Michael and Antoinette both for once again hosting a BHC program this month. Our next event is tonight, a Meditation with Remi, at the home of Bruce, Celeste and Jason.

Book Club: "The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit"

We gathered at Sheila's on Sunday afternoon to discuss The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit. It's a memoir about a family of Egyptian Jews who were forced out of Cairo in the early sixties, emigrated to Paris and then to America. The central character is the father, Leon, who is the "man in the white sharkskin suit." Lucette, his younger daughter and the author, had a close and loving relationship with him but she is forthright about his faults and foibles as well as his virtues.

We spoke about the immigrant experience and whether our parents or grandparents were happy or sad to have come to America. I realized that I never knew the exact reason my grandparents came here. In my paternal grandparents' case I assumed there was some persecution, but my maternal grandfather was wealthy in Greece and was raised like an aristocrat. I was not sure what motivated him to come to America.

Sheila always leads a fascinating discussion fueled by her insightful questions. Kudos to her! Our next book will be Born on a Blue Day.

June 11th Party

Once again, the Brooklyn Humanist Community had a great summer party. We missed the Fourth this year but celebrated in between July 4th and Bastille Day on July 14th.

Coincidentally, Jean brought a copy of the words to the tune that became "The Star Spangled Banner." It was a very old drinking song, with mythological allusions. I found it pretty much incomprehensible but it must have amused 18th century gentlemen as they imbibed. Speaking of songs, Sheila wants the BHC to have its own theme song. If we can decide on an appropriate prize, we may turn this into a contest.

The food was delicious: hot dogs, barbecued drumsticks, two kinds of potato salad, a lovely garden salad and much more. Bonnie brought us raspberries, cherries and grapes, and Julie celebrated her birthday by bringing a delicious carrot cake.

Many thanks to Michael and Antoinette for their hosting. A good time was had by all!