The Polygamous Book Club

On Sunday, October 12th, the BHC met at Sheila's for a mental trip into the shoes of polygamous families. Our discussion was based on Irene Spencer's memoir, Shattered Dreams. As each of us entered, Sheila directed us to take a name tag that identified us as a "sisterwife." The "husbands" were various toys, a Superman doll, a fake skeleton (Mr. B, presumable Mr. Bones), and a Teddy bear. A tiny "child" Teddy bear was the youngest in a huge family of 76 children and had no idea who his real mother was.

We discussed whether polygamy could work for any of us provided we had enough material wealth to be able to live comfortably, with the only drawback being that we would not have our husband's full attention or his exclusive sexuality. Other questions Sheila raised was whether polygamy is moral, and who has the right to decide it should be illegal?

Antoinette pointed out that the ancient Greeks and Romans did not have polygamous marriages but practiced homosexuality, which obviously provided men with an alternate outlet for their desires. Polygamy gained a foothold in societies where there was a scarcity of men.

My feelings were that polygamy as it was described in Spencer's book was a hardship and a heartbreak for the people involved in it, who continued because of their religious brainwashing to believe it would lead to great rewards (godhood and goddesshood) in the afterlife. But in this life, they were living in abject poverty, sometimes housed in chicken coops, lacking even the most basic amenities of life as it should have been in the 1940's-1970's America. Men were unable to support their huge families forcing the family to rely on public welfare in order to lead an illegal and untenable lifestyle. Women suffered jealousy, sexual and emotional deprivation, and the constant fear that their husbands would take yet another wife to spread the resources and attention even thinner.

Children suffered immensely. Their mothers were overwhelmed with huge numbers of children to raise on practically nothing. They had no choice in the matter but lived in the same abject poverty as their mothers, receiving little attention from mothers and practically none for the fathers who had to divide their attention between as many as 50 children or more.

The overwhelming majority concluded that polygamy is immoral and that the state has the right to outlaw it for the good of the citizens and also for protection of the public coffers which suffer when people enter a living arrangement that ensures they cannot be self-supporting.

It was a fascinating and stimulating discussion. The two men, Bruce and Michael, provided much insight as well. Kudos to Sheila for another excellent book club, and for her wonderful hostessing!

The next book club will be on November 2nd at 1:30 PM and we'll be discussing The Giver by Lois Lowry.